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This is my first baby.. so yes I am a first time mommy..she is 7 weeks old and I am curious if it is normal for your baby to want to be held all the time. I try to put her down in a swing or her car seat and she will cry immediately. I am afraid that she will be "spoiled" and constantly need this attention.. is that possible at this point? And then at what point do you start to wean your baby off of being held constantly??? Any suggestions?
At this point, doctors usually say you cannot "spoil" your baby. If your baby is crying, there is a need being expressed, and sometimes that is the need to feel safe by being held. As your baby gets bigger, you can begin to try to establish independence more in small ways, like playing with toys and giving her tummy time to explore. For now, cherish the baby's need to be held because it won't last long!
ABSOLUTELY! Contrary to popular belief! I also have a 7 week old and I am 1st time mom, she can amuse herself for about 30 minutes, sometimes an hour with me just staying next to her or close by. I usually have her in a bouncy seat or on a poppy on the floor. Infant don't need us to "amuse" them. We just need to step back and watch, this makes them independent.
Babies cry because they are trying to tell us something, but if you rush in and pick them up as soon as they make a peep, you teach them dependence. Stop and listen, what is your baby saying. I'm wet, I'm hungry, I'm tired, I want to be held, Your baby has distiguishable cries, you just have to stop and listen. Once the need is met and baby is calm, put her down in a safe place, crib, pack n play, swing, bouncy seat...ect.
This method has worked for me.
my baby is 8 weeks old now - he doesn't want to be held all the time. he amuses himself in his swing, or even laying by himself, provided he is put facing an open window. but he was very clingy until 2 weeks ago. i used to hold him ALL the time, and he used to be by himself only if i had to wash his bottles or do something super urgent (like go to the toilet). i think your baby will definitely grow out of this need once he becomes aware of his surroundings and can entertain himself. in the meantime, i think you should provide all the security you can because he needs it, and this will allow you both to form a relationship based on trust. he does not know how to "take advantage" or pick up a habit yet, he is way too young to have that kind of intelligence! so "spoil" him all you can, and when he gets this need satisfied, it will allow him to grow into a super confident, self assured human being cos his momma gave him a good start. and trust me, this wont last all that long. :) and dont beat yourself about leaving him if you have to - you are doing your best and that is what matters :)
My son is 10 weeks old and I hold him quite a bit. Now that I'm back to work, when I get to my MIL to pick him up, and for the remaining part of the night, I hold him and talk to him and play with him. We do do tummy time at night at which point I'm not holding him, but he can see me. I feel that holding him is as much emotional to me as it is to him, granted he spent 3 weeks in the NICU so we did lose a little bit of time. He is perfectly content with anyone holding him, not only me. I put him down when he's napping or goes down for the night so I have some "me" time. I have heard that you can't spoil a baby until they are 6 months old. The way I look at it is, my son needs me right now, and if he just wants to be held, then that's what I'll do and deal with the consequences, if any, later on.
I know it is SO hard not to pick up your baby when she starts to cry but like many others have said, she needs to have her own "baby time." I was basically going through the same thing with my baby girl (my first, she's now 3 months) and I found that pacifiers were the key to our success. But before you even get that far, is she hungry or does she need to be changed? That's first and foremost, if she's clean and fed than she can stand to have a cry out for a few minutes. Also, have you tried a bouncy chair that vibrates? My baby girl hates her swing and all of the others we've tried. The bouncy seats are about 30-40 bucks at walmart. If she is still crying even with the pacifier and she's clean and fed, then let her have 5-10 minutes before you pick her up. You can do this at bedtime too (though at bedtime, don't pick her back up, just rub her belly and let her see your face, insert pacifier, and withing a couple minutes she'll be fast asleep). Good luck. Remember that you need you time too!
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