A Dad's views on Baby Sleep and CIO (Crying it out)

  • After reading several blogs, books, and articles on the subject, I understand that letting your baby cry himself to sleep (after 6 months of age) is perfectly fine.  It won't have long-term psychological effects on him and most doctors agree.  But, I can't convince my wife to try it.  So with our boy being nearly 13 months, he's still not sleeping through the night (getting up at least twice) and we've been exhausted almost the entire time.  Not sure when he will start sleeping through the night, but if anyone has advice on how to get a 13-month old to sleep (or convince your partner that CIO isn't terrible for the baby), please let me know...

  • You might try using a modified CIO. Maybe set a timer for 5 minutes each time he wakes up. After it goes off, then she can go in his room. The timer helps you keep perspective, because 5 minutes can feel like an hour when your baby is crying. After a few nights with that go up to 7 or 10 minutes, and so on. We did this with our son and he was sleeping through the night before we made it to a week. Good luck!

  • My son started sleeping through the night at two months.  Then at about six months he started waking up about twice a night.  After about a month of getting up with him, my husband and I bought a little light that you hang on the inside of the crib.  When he woke up or started fussing, the light automatically came on and would play soft music or a light show (depending on the settings) and usually he would go back to sleep.  On the few nights that he didn't, we made ourselves wait a few minutes before going to the crib.  For the most part, spending the 25-35 dollars for that little light has been a great investment for us. 

  • Ugh! Getting your baby to sleep through the night is always an issue it seems, and CIO is usually at the heart of the debate. When it came to my kids, I tried CIO and it did not work, mostly because they are so strong willed. My youngest didn't start sleeping through the night until she was about 18 months. With CIO, she would cry and cry until she threw up all over her bedding, which defeated the purpose of trying to get her to sleep. She also kept waking for a bottle, since she was not getting enough calories during the day (fussy eater). So I didn't feel bad about abandoning CIO and just put up with the fatigue until she was old enough to sleep through the night on her own. She'll be 2 in a few weeks and though she does have her nights when she wakes up and will not put herself back to sleep, the majority of the time she sleeps right on through.

    CIO is often harder on the parent than it is the child, but it also isn't for everyone. The important thing is that you don't push CIO on yourself or your child and do what works for you. Even now when I put my little one to bed, I hand out in the room and read until she goes to sleep. It gives her some security and me some personal downtime. It works best for us all around.

  • As a fellow dad I can understand where you're coming from. Whether sleep time or just throwing a tantrum I prefer to let them CIO instead of reinforcing the behavior. That being said her crying is the breaker for my wife - if she's crying my wife will do most anything to make her stop.

    While my daughter is sleeping in the bed with us currently, we did for a time convince her to sleep in a crib. The biggest issue was time honestly - I was willing to wait longer than my wife for her to stop crying. What I found worked best for our daughter was putting her to bed full, just before she switched from tired to cranky mode, and having a low sound in the room (a lullaby cd (did you know there's even one with Metallica tracks?!)). Those three together usually guaranteed a long nights sleep, when it didn't the other important part is that after walking her back to sleep I would put her in the crib again so that she does not learn waking up and crying will let her into the bed with us.

    Unfortunately for us she began teething and hasnt been back to the crib since - I suspect when we do it again it will be much harder to get her to take to the crib Sad.

  • what is the name of this light & where can i purchase one?

  • The light I bought was at Walmart.  It was the VTech Nighty Nite Nature Smart Response System.  http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=3120614

    It was fairly cheap.  My only complaints are it goes through a lot of batteries...and squeaks sometimes when the little bee moves around.  Still...it's given me uninterrupted nights of sleep so I guess I can't complain.

    There's a second light I amost purchased, sold at Walmart and Target, called the Fisher Price Waterfall Soother.  http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5420735

    I haven't used that one but I hear its supposed to be a really good product.  *shrugs* 

  • I'm actually glad to hear your baby didn't sleep through the night until 18 mos!  My baby's almost 12 mos and still rarely sleeps through the night and also has an overnight bottle- I was sure I was doing something wrong.  I don't have the heart to let him CIO.  Besides, someday when he's older he won't be calling for me, so I might as well enjoy our nightly rockings while they last.  He's only a baby once.   

  • FirstTimeMommy12, by 12 months you should be able to start moving away from the night-time bottle. Doing that may help him sleep through the night longer (though he may be upset the first few nights). Our daughter was waking up in the night to feed, but wasnt actually hungry so we stopped giving her a bottle when she did and now she will sleep through the night much more often. And I agree - enjoy it while it lasts, now that she's in her mommy-phase I miss the attention I used to get from her.