Going Back to Work...How to Handle It

  • Okay so my son just turned two months old and I have to go back to work in two weeks. How do you do it? I get a sick feeling just thinking about going back to work and leaving him with someone. I know every mom feels this way, but I just don't think anyone else can take care of him like I can. I want so badly to work it out where I can stay home, but I don't even know where to start. Any advice?

  • What type of work do you do and what type of schedule are you on? Will you be full-time? Who have you chosen to keep him?

  • I am a teacher which means I am gone from home eleven hours a day and when I come home, I have to create lessons and grade papers. It is a sun up to sun down job. I would be full time if I went back. We have asked my husband's grandmother to stay with us and keep him until we got out for summer, but I can't imagine leaving him. I cry every time I think about it.

  • That is a very long day. Do you work far from home? When my son was born I worked an hour and fifteen minutes from our home, with an hour time change. I had to leave home at 430am and return at 730pm. I only did this two days a week, but it was awful. Like you, I remember crying and trying to find other options. I stayed there for just a few months before I moved to a hospital close to my house. Even then it was super hard. Have you considered working from home as a teacher? I've seen Sylvan, Pearson, and several other online tutoring services that hire certified teachers. I don't think the pay is bad and you could be home. I'm not too sure about benefits, but that is something to consider. I've also known teachers to work for homeschool families and tutor children in their home. It really just depends on if your family depends on you making a full-time income.

  • Don't be so hard on yourself!!! This is going to be harder on you then it will be on him! He really won't know the difference! It actually will be good for him! My oldest went to a baby sitters when he was just 8 weeks old. He has never had a  problem spending the night there or at his grandma's and when it was time for school he had no problems!!

    With my second I have been getting unemployment and actually wish I could get a part time job so that she won't be too attached!! I too would welcome the break!

    If we go to grandma's for Christmas she won't sleep in the crib she wants her bed! My son would sleep anywhere cause he was used to sleeping a couple different places.

    Children learn to adapt to the situation what ever it may be! So will you. And Grandma will take good care of the baby!  You will learn to appreciate the bond that they will share! No one can ever replace mom but life is made up of the relations ships that we form with others. He will have a head start!!!

    I would look for a job closer to home and try to get your papers graded at school!

    My sister-in-law is a teacher and she said she just made the rule that she didn't bring it home!! She has been teaching for 20 year now so I'm sure she has a system!! You will too! When you work and are a mom there definitely is a shift from career minded to family minded!!  You may need to adapt the work for your students to your new lifestyle!! Make them grade  each others papers for an additional assignment. Try to switch your class from creative writing  to poetry, less reading!!

    From remedial math to honers! What ever you think will work better!

    You're a mom now  there is no telling what you can do! Give it till he is 6 months you will see it will get easier and you will figure it out! Wait till he is 5 you will have it all down! 

    Someone said to me once "Oh your just new at it you'll get the hang of it!"

    I thought she was nuts until not that long ago I remembered her saying that to me and thought...  I am getting better at this she was right!!! And I mean everything not just being a mom but house work and yard work and work  and shopping and paying bills and all the things that moms do!!

    Once you get to work and are busy you will enjoy the time with your students and the much needed time you will get to actually sit and eat a whole meal with out having to get up and take care of the baby! All the other teachers will be asking you to see pictures and trying to give you advice the day will fly by. And when you go home you will enjoy the time with your baby even more!

    Just remember how lucky you are to have chosen a career where you will get summers off. It will only be a couple months till your back home for the summer and you can look for a new job!!

  • I agree.  I have been back to work for 2m now, and my little guy is 3 1/2m old.  I came back 7 weeks after my c-section.  It is hard, but doable.

    1.  You have to have daycare/childcare that you completely trust.  I dont have family where I live so I interviewed alot of different childcare providers.  I do have the advantage that my mom use to do childcare out of our home, so I see the benefits of childcare.

    2.  You have to like what you do and who you work with.  I was excited to come back and see everyone that I worked with.  My work life and personal live overlap making both easier.

    3.  Be proactive.  One the weekends I do most my cooking and figure out what has to be done to make the week work for us.  My husband is gone 7 days at a time for work, so it's me & the baby.  I have to be organized to get both of us to daycare & work on time.  I do this by packing almost everything the night before and having meals ready to cook or already cooked.  The advantage to this is that the evenings I get to spend quality time with our son.

    4.  Remember it does get easier with practice, just like everything else there is a learning curve.

  • My sone is also 2 months old and I had to come back to work 3 weeks ago. He started day care this past monday and I hated it. My mother in law came to stay 3 weeks (from GA) so I at least got to start the transition while she was here instead of just throwing him right into day care.

  • -KTROBERTS-

    I'M IN YOUR SAME SITUATION..MY SON JUST TURNED 2 MONTHS OLD AND I'M RETURNING TO WORK SOON. I ALREADY STARTED INTRODUCING HIM TO THE BOTTLE AND HE HATES IT..HE CRIES & IT BRAKES MY HEART..I'VE ONLY BREASTFED HIM AND NOW WHEN I PUMP..I GIVE HIM A BOTTLE (TWICE A DAY) SO HE CAN GET THE HANG OF IT..AND, IT'S NOT WORKING..AND, THAT'S MY MAIN CONCERN..OTHER THAN THAT, MY MOTHER IS GOING TO BABYSIT HIM AT MY HOUSE..I TRUST HER A LOT, BUT I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE HIM..I GUESS IT'S JUST THAT MOTHER & BABY BOND..SO, I'M GLAD YOU ASKED THAT QUESTION..GOOD LUCK..AND, HOPE ALL WORKS WELL..

  • -BABYNURSE-

    I'M RETURNING TO WORK VERY SOON. MY BIGGEST CONCERN IS THAT MY 2 MONTH OLD SON IS HAVING A HARD TIME DRINKING FROM THE BOTTLE. I'M ONLY NURSING..BUT I HAVE STARTED TO PUMP MILK AND GIVING IT TO HIM IN BABY BOTTLES..HE FUSSES & CRIES, BUT EVENTUALLY DRINKS IT..IS THEIR SOMETHING THAT WILL HELP "US" HANDLE THE SITUATION BETTER? DOES IT DEPENDS ON THE BOTTLE? IS THEIR A BIG DIFFERENCE FROM STANDARD & WIDE NIPPLES? I'M A 1ST TIME MOMMY..

  • KTRoberts, don't beat yourself up about having to go back to work. It sounds like you have a person you can rely on to watch your son which is wonderful! I had to put my daughter in daycare and I nearly bawled the first time I dropped her off. Luckily we have a daycare right behind my hospital and most of the staff uses it (and some of the staff's grown children work there lol) so it's well run and comes highly recommended. I wish my breaks were longer so I could run down and visit her during the day but alas that's just not possible.

    You're right that no one else will take care of your son like you do but that doesn't mean that they can't take care of him well. No one can replace Mommy, but I, personally, believe that it does help them to learn to socialize with other adults and to realize that Mommy will always come back for them. I get my daughter to her daycare early enough that I have a good 20 minutes to just sit and play with her before I have to leave her there. I probably drives the providers nuts but it makes it easier on both of us...well on me for sure! Perhaps you could build a small amount of playtime into your morning routine before you have to leave your son, to make heading off to work easier for both of you.

  • I went back to work when my daughter (now 4) was 8 weeks old.  I was starting a new job in a totally new career setting and commuting an hour each way.  The only reason why I felt good about what I was doing was because my mom was taking care of her for me and I knew that I was doing the best I could to make a good life for her.

    I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant with a little boy and I know it's going to be much harder to go back this time.  Not only am I going to have to leave my newborn, I'm going to have to leave my 4 year old too.  It's going to be a little different because my fiance will have them for 2 evenings while I'm working and my mom will have them for 3 while we're both working.  I just have to remember that I'm still doing what's best for them.  I'm the primary money maker in the family and my job is the only way that they will have the health insurance that they need.  On the bright side, I don't have as much overtime as I did 4 years ago.  We've actually been on a reduced work week.  A little rough on the budget, but really good for family time!

    No matter what, don't feel guilty about going back to work.  It's just something that we have to do.  And you're right, nobody can care for your child the way you do, but that doesn't mean that they won't do a good job.  Good luck and try not to worry too much!Smile

  • I know it's tough to take this step, but it's really not as scary as it seems. I didn't have this issue so much with my older daughter because I was living with my parents at the time and they watched her when I had to go to work or school. So when I had to go back to work after my second baby was born, it was tough. She was only 8 weeks old and so, so small! I was worried that if she started daycare so young that she wouldn't bond with me the way my older daughter did.

    What ended up happening was that my mom cared for her until she was six months old and then she started daycare. Sure, we had our rough days, but the experience has been a great one. Jordan is independent and active. Her verbal skills are phenomenal and her social skills are wonderful. She's only two and can count to 20, knows her ABC's, and all of the colors. Plus, she's so attached to me that I can barely get her to physically separate from me at times!

    A colleague of mine gave me some great advice when I told her I was worried about leaving my infant in the care of others. She said that no matter what, you're still mommy, and that's something that no amount of daycare can change. You are the center of your baby's universe. Yes, it may be a little tough on your baby for the first week or so, but they adjust very quickly. Know that your baby is well cared for, will be loved, and is in an environment that is good for her development. That my help calm your fears.

    You may also want to look into a center that has camera access through the computer. You'll be able to check in on your baby throughout the day or whenever you can access a computer. Sometimes that can go a long way toward building peace of mind for mommy.

  • My daughter was born only a few months after starting a new job and in the middle of our busy time, so I was not able to take off much time right after the birth. While I missed spending time with her during the day, you'll be surprised at home much time you manage to "find" when you want it. And I enjoyed it even more because it is even more precious when you have less of it.