Spending the night out!!

  • How should your infant be before you allow them to spend the night with family??

    I allowed my son to spend the night for three days with his fathers family and my mom became instantly upset because she feels he is really to young to be out with out his mother but he spent the whole time with his father and fathers family. My son is 4 weeks old soon to be 5 weeks old. Should I not allow his father or his fathers family spend time with him or keep him with me until he is over 2 months old?? What should I do about my mom??

  • This is such a common thing you have to deal with when you're a mom. Other people's expectations of what you should and should not be doing can be hard to deal with. They make you doubt your judgement as a parent. Honestly, I think it's really up to you to do what you think is best for your baby.

    Having some time to yourself is not a crime, especially if your baby is with his father. They need some bonding time, too. If you're comfortable with the situation, then there's no reason your mom should not be. Was there any negative consequence to these nights spent away from home? Is the baby's father and his family knowledgable about how to care for a newborn? If the answers to those questions make you secure in your decision, then don't second guess yourself.

    As for your mom, I would sit her down and talk to her about your feelings on this issue. Moms are notoriously tough to get through to when it comes to differences in opinion about raising children. But if you recognize that she has a right to her opinion and so do you, and that you're in charge of your son's well being, then you'd appreciate it if she would respect your judgement. Communication is key here. Even if she doesn't take your advice, at least you've made yourself heard.

  • My son is two months old and he is still not home from his brothers house. This is the 3rd time he has stayed over there first one being maybe 3 or 4 weeks old. Like the other post said I think it's up to you how you feel about your son staying over. They really don't have separation anxiety at this age yet so maybe its a good way for your son to bond with other family other then you. Plus isn't mommy time wonderful?

  • I think it's important for your child to become familiar with staying out. As long as there is no health hazards (people sick in the house), and your doctor doesn't have a problem, then do what you have to do. Sometimes you need a mental holiday, and if one night can do that trick and your baby is in the hands of someone you trust to give the baby the bets of care, I don't see the harm in it. And if anyone tells you how you raise your baby, even your closest of relatives, make it clear right away that it is your decision.

  • Sorry to hear about the tension in your family. My two cents would be that you are the best person to judge the needs of your baby. If you feel that the father's family can provide the appropriate love, care, and attention that your baby needs, then sending him over at your discretion is up to you. Your mom probably did not do this with you, if I am guessing correctly, and has a hard time with the idea of him being away from mommy. Communication is really the best thing you can do with her - sit down and share your thoughts and feelings. Hopefully she will come to understand and respect your decisions.

  • I agree, as long as there is no danger, I think baby's dad has just as much right to spend the night with his child as mom. That bond is important too & if your son will continue to spend time with his dad like that as he grows up then he should grow up feeling like that's his home too. So in a sense, he wasn't spending the night out, he was spending it at his other home. Your mom obviously loves your son and has his best interests at heart so try not to let her intentions make you feel bad. Trust your instincts.