1st time mom in need of advice

  • Im a stay at home mom and a 1st time mom too, and before my baby girl was born the closet i had ever gotten to an infant was a picture in a magazine. So that being said i have a couple of questions that i desperatly need help with. She is 5 1/2 months old and very active and hardly takes any naps and im starting to run out of ideas and games so if any one has any ideas they could lend i would appreciate it.

    Also is it normal to feel a little frustrated at times? She was planned and everything and we did everything to make sure we could support a baby before i got pregnant so is it still normal to get frustrated at times? I have always wanted a child and now that i have an even more beutifull one than i imagined i feel like im going in circles. Dont get me wrong she is loads of fun and giggles but i need some much needed advice.

  • There is nothing at all wrong with you. You are doing a great job. Keep in mind that you do not have to entertain your baby at all times. It is okay to let her sit and explore the world around her. Set her up in a safe place with a few toys and give her time alone. It also sounds like you need to get out of the house. Search around for groups in your area. You can usually find other moms at parks, libraries, and mommy and me gyms.

  • Like BabyNurse said, you're doing fine. Frustration is perfectly normal in parenhood. In fact, I'd be worried if you weren't getting frustrated. This first year is rough. I've been through it twice, once planned and once not, and there's no difference. It all depends on your child and how you approach being a parent.

    It might be a good idea to encourage your baby to play independently a little more, like BabyNurse suggested. As long as you're there to oversee what she's doing, she'll be okay. It's important that babies learn to entertain themselves. I also love the idea of getting out and interacting with other moms and babies. I think it will go a long way toward helping ease your stress.

  • I am a first time mom too and I have have the same frustrations as you do. I do get frustrated when my son who is 7 months is not having a good day. I have learned that I can not entertain him all day long. I will put him in his exersaucer and let him explore and play on his own. Like your baby girl, my boy does not take naps. It sounds like you are doing a great job and enjoying being a mommmy! Good luck!

  • I agree with the other posters that it is normal to get frustrated at times.  No matter how much you wanted your child or how well you planned for her, you cannot be expected to always have all the answers.  Even if you did, things will not always go as you've planned.

    If you're interested in getting together with other moms as someone else suggested, I'd recommend meetup.com to find parenting groups in your area.  Someone else recommended it awhile back and since then I've joined several groups.  So far I haven't had a lot of luck with them, but I am going to a lunch with a new one tomorrow so hopefully that one works out!  If you can't find a good group in your area, you could also try to start one of your own.

    I agree that it won't hurt your daughter to have independent play time.  It's good for her to explore her surroundings and start figuring things out on her own.  If you don't do so already, I'd also suggest reading to her.  She will enjoy the time with you and the sound of your voice and it will help her develop language skills as she gets older.  It will also start a good habit that will last a lifetime.  My daughter is 4 years old and she loves going to the library and getting books.  Sometimes at the store she will even choose a book over a movie or toy which I think is really impressive for a child so young.  I'm having another baby in June and I'm really looking forward to having family story time on a regular basis.

  • It is totally normal to feel a little frustrated at times! I'm right there with ya girl! I have a 3 month old son who I love to death but especially when it's like 1:30 in the morning and I want (and need) to be asleep, and he's still wide awake I just want to scream! What I always do is give him a fresh diaper, make sure he's fed, and burped, and then just take him on a stroll around the house, or rock him in the rocking chair. Don't feel like YOU have to be the one entertaining her at all times, if you have a swing or even a mobile in your crib... just place her in her crib for a while and take a breather or two... God knows you need it! Good luck!

  • I was in the exact same position, no real exposure to babies before I had mine.  My husband and I also thought long and hard about having a baby at all since he's in the military.  I'm forced to be a single parent while he's deployed. 

    My son is also very active.  He also had the same issue you have, he took cat naps for the first 7 months of his life.  It used to drive me crazy too.  He also had a bad habit of waking up as soon as I put him in the crib.  That made me want to tear my hair out!  He finally settled into a regular nap routine last month.  I can't tell  you why all of a sudden he's napping regularly and for 90 min to 2 hours.  It was just the right time for him.

    I wish I could give you a tip or trick to get them into a regular routine of napping but I don't think there is one.  My only advice is to get them into as much of a regular daily routine with eveyrthing else as you possibly can.   My son realizes now that he's had his bottle, and his cereal so between 9 and 11am he can play and then it's time for a nap.  He somehow knows there's nothing else going on.  It's surprising how they get to know when it's time for certain things.  

    Hang in there - it will get better!

  • I'm a first time mom too.My baby is 5 1/2 months and sometimes I feel like I am a bad mom because there times where she just won't stop crying.When she does this I don't know what to do so I break down crying.I just feel so alone I don't know who to talk to about all this.

  • I've done the exact same thing.  My son had cow's milk protein allergy, so all he did for the first two months(until we figured out the problem) was scream with bad gas and he vomited like crazy. 

    I used to sit there and cry as he screamed his head off cause he was in so much pain from the gas.  Now, he's 8 months old and teething, so now we have a whole NEW thing to scream about.  And yes, after two hours of him screaming cause he's teething, I've broken down crying too. 

    Talk to your pediatrician about your baby's crying fits.  There are a couple of medicines they can give if the screaming is related to gas or tummy issues.  You might also try switching formula. 

    Hang in there, it does get better.  Talk to all of us...it does help!