My 6 month old

  • My husband and I have a sweet 6 month old baby girl, and she is such a blessing.  She is our first child.  I am a stay at home mom, and I spend a lot of time with her, so she is very attached to me.  As of recently, she cries sometimes when I put her down for a nap, when she is in her car seat in the car, or when someone else is holding her and she wants me to hold her, instead.  I want to comfort her when she is upset, but my parents say she is starting to act "spoiled," because she wants me all the time and doesn't like to be separated from me.  Any advice?

  • TXMamaBear-It sounds like you are doing an absolutely lovely job of caring for your daughter. This is part of the reason that she is so attached to you. The other thing that is playing into this is her age. Starting around 6-8 months of age most babies start to express some separation anxiety. This is perfectly normal(she is NOT spoiled)! However, even though it's normal, you want to start showing your daughter that when you leave, you always come back. Once she figures this out her anxiety will decrease. I would suggest that you start leaving her for short periods of time, showing her that you always return. Then start stretching the amount of time that you are away from her over time. Nap time might be the perfect place to start this. Put her in her crib, give her a binki, favorite stuff animal, and blanket. Put her down, rub her back for a few minutes, and then leave her. She probably will scream, and (this is so hard) let her cry. You can return to the room every few minutes to check on her. Do not make eye contract. Quietly go to her crib, make sure she is safe, then give her something to help her comfort herself-so the binki, animal or blanket. Tell her she is ok, and leave the room. She will get through this! It may takes a few days before she is ok alone, but this is a good place to start. Keep us posted! Jess
  • Thank you for your advice, as well as the compliment that I am doing a lovely job! Smile  I have read in several different places about this month of her life and how separation anxiety and stranger anxiety is common.  I have been trying to make sure that she plays a little more independently from time to time (within my sight), instead of always sitting with her, and I'm allowing more family and friends to hold her more often, so she gets used to people other than Mommy, and I have tried to let her "cry it out" on a couple of occassions, but I agree that this is so hard to do.  I want the best for her, so I'm going to keep making progress in this area, and I'm sure everything will be fine!  Thanks again for your advice! 

  • Crying it out is probably the hardest thing to go through as a new parent.  We just started that with our daughter a month or so ago (she's about the same age as you little girl).  The first couple of nights I just sat in the next room crying because she was crying!  It really does get better though.  Now when we put her down she fusses a little and then plays in her crib until she gets tired enough to sleep.  I'd say it took about 1.5-2 weeks to get to that point.

    Something that really helped me during that horrible beginning stage was to find something to occupy myself while she cried.  I had the baby monitor close enough that I could hear if her crying changed (like the time she put her pacifier in sideways and couldn't get it out again :) ), but I'd set limits for myself on when I could go in.  Sometimes I would go do the dishes and tell myself I had to load at least 10 plates before I could go back in.  When we got to the point that we were waiting 15-20 minutes between checks I'd go take a quick shower.

    Good luck with everything!!

  • I feel the same way about allowing my daughter to cry it out.  One night I kept picking her up and putting her down (about four our five times), but everytime I put her down, she would cry.  Finally, I had to leave.  I couldn't stay in her room all night.  So, I went downstairs and watched her on the monitor, and I cried because she was crying.  In less than five minutes she went to sleep, though, which was good.  A couple of other times I've let her cry it out in her car seat, after I comforted her and reasured her that I was there and that everything was ok.  One time I even rubbed her little face to soothe her.  Being a parent can be so challenging.  I'm excited to be a part of this online community, so I can encourage other parents and receive encouragement as well.  Thank you for your feedback Sgmitch!

  • Sounds like you are doing a great job! It is hard being a mom and I loved how you said you "cried when she cried". I remember crying the first night I had to let my little one cry it out! It gets easier, but they are truly your heart and soul.. good luck and welcome to Strong Moms!

  • Thank you for the encouraging words, MommyRN4!  I try my best to be a good mom for our baby girl.  Thank you, as well, for letting me know that it does get easier.  It's comforting to know that other mom's go through these same experiences.  Good luck and blessings to you, as well!

  • My little boy CLUNG to me for the first 8-9 months of his life. He was completely attached to me. I did exactly what you are doing - promoting independence and reassuring him that I was there but I really didn't sweat it too much. There is a term I've heard used for this phase of a baby's life - "their first great love affair". Babies naturally LOVE their mommies and they SHOULD! You aren't spoiling her and if people say you are, I'd just tell them you are just loving on her and she will turn out just fine. You are her mommy and know best anyway. ;-)

  • The crying it out ordeal is very, very challenging-and in honesty I think it may be harder on mom and dad than it is on baby. You figured out just the right way to comfort her though-it's ok to go into her room, make sure she is safe, give her something to comfort herself with-binki, blanket, stuffed animal, ect. Then it's ok to stand and rub her back for a few minutes, then leave. Avoid eye contact, avoid speaking. You are on the ball my dear, keep up the good work! -Jess
  • Crying it out is not for us.  I never recommend it to people.  I just didn't see a need to force my DD to do something before she seemed developmentally ready to do so.  I also didn't see a need to do something to my child that made me feel sad.