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so next month my husband and I start childbirth classes, also I will take a class that will help me with what will go on after our baby gets here. Well I found out that there is a class for new soon to be dads, I told my husband about it and he wants me to give him a few good reason why it will be good for him to take this class, well i tired a few things and he thinks that he already knows everything. (btw this baby is both our first baby) I was wanting to know if maybe you guys could help me with a few things I could tell him. If there are any dads out there that could help that would be great. Thank you
Hey, Congratulation on u first baby. I have Two girls and just had my first boy. My boyfriend should be very experienced with a newborn, with going through it twice. If I go out for only an hour, with in the hour i would have about 20 call from him. once the baby starts crying his head off and he doesn't know what the baby wants. He will lose his mind. Extra knowledge doesn't hurt a bit.
Melissae2 I hear ya!!!! My fiance is the same. He does really well with changing diapers although i did have to teach him how with using a stuffed bunny lol. He still doesn't know how much our daughter eats or how often even though i regularly keep him updated on the topic. Also i have yet to make it through a full shower without him coming in and saying "Babe; I don't know what's wrong"... even though i clearly said before i got in the shower that the baby is hungry and that i have a bottle warming..... In theory taking a class is a good idea for letting the guy know just exactly what he's getting into, but once that baby exits the hospital you're going to be in a whole new ballpark. I'm sure he's going to be just fine though, just keep an eye on him for a while... And whatever you do don't coddle him. He will never learn how to get that baby to stop crying if you always take the baby when it's upset or he's frustrated. Not to say that common sense shouldn't be used in determining acceptable frustration levels... But crying won't kill the baby!!!! Just a little lesson I learned and though i'd pass down. Our daughter is now 6 months old and he still doesn't know how to deal with the crying because i coddled him... lesson learned for the next time around!!!
I'm betting you will get a few dad's that will help out with this, but wanted to offer one thought. Often if people think that they are being forced to do something they push against it. So offering something like: "It would really mean a lot to me if you would go, but that decision has to be yours."....they drop it (hard I know) and see what he does.
Good luck and let us know how it goes,
Well, everyone else has some good advice but I'd just add that these classes are often kind of fun and the guys enjoy joking around and being a bit goofy while learning. I'd echo JessBabyRN's advice and just tell him that it would mean a lot to you and be helpful for when the baby is here but that it really is his choice. Sometimes the guilt factor helps a bit. ;-) However, if he doesn't go, just be willing to share what you learn in your class and don't just take over when he is not sure what to do once the baby arrives. Some patient teaching goes a long way.
I agree with others who think that you need to stress to him that it is important to you and that should be the best motivation. In my case, I attended birthing classes with my wife but had no daddy training. In defense of your husband, if he is like me, having your first child is a little intimidating in terms of losing some freedom and time, so don't take his refusal personally. Also, as you have discovered, there is a tremendous amount of information online. If he doesn't want to go to classes, maybe you can provide information that you feel is important and get him involved electronically. Congratulations and good luck!
Thanks everyone for your advice, I think I am just going to leave him be. We have both been doing alot of research online. I think I'm going to give him a few gifts some funny and some just to let him know I want him involved. He has been very excited since we found out we were having a boy, he really likes putting his room together and picking stuff out to put in there.