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I was seeing a man for about 4 months and we both decided to go our separate ways untill a month later i found out i was pregnant. He lives about forty minutes away from me so i never get to see him. He has been ignoring me ever since i went to the first baby doctors visit in august. I am now 19 weeks pregnant and have been having problems and i try to get ahold of him but all he does is ignore me so i went to his house to talk to him in person and his girlfriend answerd the door. I was so embarrassed and hurt i just left. I dont know what to do. my family tells me to go after him for child support but i dont want him to be around at all if he is not going to be a good father. I just feel all alone and dont know what to do in this situation.
My goodness - I wish I could give you a big hug. I'm so sorry you have found yourself in this difficult spot - I know that this baby will bring joy to you but he/she definitely brings some difficult decisions with it. Is the father even aware that you are pregnant? Has he been ignoring you to the point where he doesn't even know about the baby? Are you in a place where you need the financial help of the father? If so, perhaps it would be worth it to maintain some level of contact in order to give the baby all that he/she needs. On the other hand, if you feel that having contact with the father would only make your life worse and not better in any respect, perhaps you might just build your support network with other family and friends. I think it's important that the father know about his child but the level of involvement is up to you. Hang in there...I know decisions like this are incredibly rough but you will make it. We are here for you!
I echo PediNurse Julie's advice. If you do not need his financial support, you may find that you are happier without his involvement in your child's life. You can not make a dad participate in their child's life, but you can make them financially responsible for their child. Just know that this financial responsibility may come with some headaches, such as involvement from his side of the family, bickering over child custody etc... Good luck and let us know if we can help in any way!
I just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing. It's been a few days since your post, so if you are needing any support or to just check in we'd love to hear how you are. Please take care,