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I love my sister and her little boy, but he is so rough when he comes over that I really don’t like it when they visit. He constantly hits my kids and throws toys, even though my sister and I correct him. How do I let my sister know how I feel without hurting her feelings? – Bonnie, StrongMoms Facilitator
Touchy subject. Tell her the truth. You are responsible for protecting your children and if he is hitting them and throwing things and hurting them them something needs to be said or done. maybe make him a sticker chart or something so that he can understand the result of his actions and be rewarded for good behavior when he's earned it. Also after you have talked to your sister you both sit down with them and set new rules for all of the children and make it clear that when the rules are broken there will be a punishment and carry through with it.
I think Brinny is right, you need to be honest about his behavior. I love that she suggested some positive reinforcement tactics. You can tell im that these are rules for "your house". Then just set the expectations that when he is at your house this is the expectation. Harder said than done I know.
I have tried and she agrees with me that he shouldn't be hitting or anything...but then when they are over, she is very laid back on correcting him which puts me in a very awkward spot to correct him or put him in time out. I don't want to override her authority on parenting, but if she doesn't correct him---then should I?
Absolutely. I know that if i were in the same situation i would if i had to. Just as much as you need to respect her parenting decisions; she needs to respect the rules in your house and the safety of your children. If she's not stepping up to the plate so to speak then maybe you should lead by example, and if she's upset by it then maybe it would be a good time to make it clear to her that if she will not keep him under control in your house in a manner that she sees fit; then you will by the manner that you see fit. may sound harsh, but the longer you allow this to happen the worse the habit will be to brake.
I agree... safety is most important and you should be blunt. If this behavior keeps up, you won't have them over anymore.
Your right Brinny, the longer you allow things to happen the worst the habit will be break.