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While it may sound mean, you will have to put him in his bed and let him know that is where you sleep at night. If you give him no other choice but to sleep in his bed he will get used to it and no longer have a problem. The first night he will more than likely cry, but you just have to let him work it out. It will be hard for you to listen to him cry and not pick him up but it will work. Good Luck.
I understand where you're coming from in the SIDS area. Like my earlier post said I slept with my son bc he was breastfed. As a somewhat comforting thought there was a study that found a large majority of infants and children that died of SIDS were lacking a nervous connection in the brain. Basically when there is a lack of air/ air supply it causes most infants/children to move subconciously to get the air. In Most cases where there was death, they didn't have the mechanism or whatever it is to make them wake up or turn. Whether that information still holds true or if it has been expanded I don't know as I haven't read more on it, but I'm sure you can find more on it from a pediatric web-site or somewhere along those lines.
My daughter is the same way although she is only 7 weeks old. She has gotten so use to someone holding her while she is sleeping that when I lay her in her crib she sleeps a max of 5 minutes and I even purchased one of those sleep positioners you can have in the bed with you that has the mini-walls as i call them and its the same thing (she'll sleep a max of 5-10 minutes). Today my mother and I realized that by using a king size pillow and laying her on it and having one of our arms under it she feels secure and will stay asleep. As a matter of fact she slept about 3 hours like that =). Maybe that will help your sleeping problem.
My daughter is 4 wks old, first time parents. Our daughter slept in a bassent the first week and during day naps along with the pack and play depending on what room I am in ( we have a large farm house). We put her in her crib at night after she's fallen asleep, she just cries if we put her in bed before she's asleep, sometimes she uses a pacifer and sometimes not, she doesn't use it for very long. We found it better if we roll blankets up on both sides of her so she feels more secure. Her cirb is in our room because we only have 1 bedroom down stairs but there is a bumper up so she can't see us. I subconiously stay up for a few hours to hear her and hear every little noise she makes, I don't sleep good and only for about 2 or 3 hours if I'm lucky, my husband never hears her. this is our expierence so far.