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I had my first son at 20 & have loved every minute of raising him so far..he has a ton of energy and is very fun. I'm now 28(almost 29) and pregnant with my 2nd.. I wasn't going to have anymore after my son, but I met my husband and he changed it for me. I would say the only drawback to having them younger (for me anyway) was I was not all that financially stable with my 1st. I was a single mom for 7 years, working full time & going to college full time. It was hard, but definately worth it. Now with my 2nd one on the way, i'm married and have finished school, so it won't be such a financial struggle.
Elaine, are you sure we're not twins or something? Your story is almost exactly the same as mine. I totally agree with you on how the struggle was worth it and how being a mom the second time around, in a stable relationship and done with school, is a totally different experience.
It's also such a huge help to have an older child when your second is born. I honestly don't know how I would have been able to handle having two children if one wasn't nearly 10 and the other 2. My older daughter is such a huge help and has formed an incredible bond with her sister.
I agree, my guys are 2 years apart at 5 and 3 so when ly little guy was born he only 2 but I'm there with you both going to school working god the headache, and living at home, That was a nightmare on top of who was really raising my child, me or my mom. But now my 5 year old can't WAIT to help me out, and after this one is born I hope to 29 with my last pregnancy and hopefully that will be a girl, but hey I still have 4+ years for that!
Financial stability really does make a difference doesnt it? We started out on shaky ground with our daughter (lost my job while my wife was pregnant), but since then things have really turned around for us. I'm thankful every day for being able to provide for my family and that fact alone makes me breath easier at night.
I started having kids late considering my age, but we started early in our marriage. I didn't meet the right man to marry until I was 24. He had a great job right by my college and I had invested all the money I earned during the years before I went to college, so we were both financially stable. It makes a big difference to have your finances in order. We dated while I finished up my schooling, and then married in 1999. We had our first of five kids in December 2000. I was 28 at that time. Our last child was born in 2007. For us, it was a wonderful choice to immediately start our family. We had already backpacked around Europe, finished college, purchased a house, etc... It just felt right in our hearts. The house was so empty (and way too clean!)... and now we are complete, handprints on the walls and all! There's a quote but I do not know who to give credit to. "Babies are tiny rivits in the holy bonds of Matrimony." Having children right away bonded us even closer together, and I don't regret a thing about the path we chose. It's been a wonderful journey!
I think financial stability is important. If I could do it over again and have the same children, I would have waited until all my debts were paid off, b/c now I don't want to work and it is harder.
Unfortunately, financial stability is not a constant, especially in this economy! We're struggling right now. I was laid off in May and have been working freelance and as a PT teacher are three or four colleges. I haven't gotten paid since the middle of January and we're living off my freelance savings. But before I was laid off, we were fine. My husband gets testy about money, which is a strain. But I'm more laid back about it. I've been through worse financially and know that it will work out.
I completly agree with FarrellClanMom, I am 27 and pregnant with my 4th also due in March. I was an only child and always wanted lots of kids(which i wasent planning on starting when i turned 21) so when I found out I was pregnant with my first(a surprise but pleasant) I decided to keep going till I got my 4. I also can pass for much younger and am always getting stares and remarks when I am out. My husband and I struggle everyday, I quit working after my third was born( my mother wouldn't watch anymore then the 2). Everyday we make it work and honestly my kids never want for anything. It has also made my husband and I a lot stronger which benefits the kids and us as a family, which is the most important. So good for you and your husband, I know exactly what your going through, and congrats on the new baby.
P.S My husband and I joke about me looking so young when we get those stares, we have our on little inside jokes about it
I'm going to disagree with most of you. We waited to have kids until I was 35 and my husband 39. I had a great career, and we were more financially stable than if we'd had kids early. We also both finished masters degrees and traveled widely while we were young. It was great and we were ready to have kids.
I understand the desire to have kids at an early age, but there's more than one way to live a life and raise a family.
Like you, I always knew that I wanted to have all of my kids by the time I was thirty. But I also knew that I wanted to be married and have a career before having them too. Things didn't quite workout that perfect - my husband actually proposed to me while I was still in college and we even got married before I actually finished my first degree. So my plans sort of changed from waiting until I was married to until I recieved my first degree; which took longer because once you're married your parents assume you can get out and work and not fully focus on school full-time anymore. Either way, I didn't get to start as early as I wanted to, and pregnancy is definitely not as easy as I thought it would be, so with that being said - I don't know if "by thirty" is a realistic goal for me - since I would have to keep popping them out from here on out. But I am grateful that I did wait until we were as close to being ready as I thought we could be - given the different circumstances that life has brought our way... I guess now I'm just looking at it as when God wants us to have another one he'll give us another one and not pinching at a timeline. Besides I sort of diverted from that gameplan years ago.
I never realized how many people had the same type of plan I had for having children, since most moms I know are older than I am. This is really inciteful.
Everyone is different and our ideas of what work in our lives really depend on our personal preferences. It's great to read so many stories of the paths you've all taken and where they have led.
I think thats what it comes to planning and reality. I didn't plan on having my first at 18 nor my second at 2 weeks after my 21st bday, but I wouldn't give them up for the world. No matter how tremendously hard it can be and is sometimes, its worth it. But even knowing this I'd still rather have them young that way there are less risks health wise and I can still do what my parents have done. Now they travel and enjoy life and enjoy their grandkids. It's a decision that many people take lightly or heartily, a decision that is different for everyone no matter how right or wrong to anyone else. Good luck to you all
I Just recently turned 20 and as much as my boyfriend and I had hoped to have a child after we had exstablished some sort of income if at all were expecting a little girl in March. I agree though that I'm happy I'm younger and able to enjoy playing and relating on certion levels that from my own childhood expearence older parents have a harder time with not that i don't give props to those who do decide to have a little on later on in life because i do.
Hi, me and my husband have been together for almost ten years and have been married for four. we decided that we wanted to wait to have kids until we were in our thirties. We decided that we wanted to have fun in our twenties and settle down in our thirties. I am seven weeks pregnant and I will bew thirty by the time the baby is born. I want to have at least two kids before I am 35. I am glad that we waited because I was to wild in my early twentys and just wanted to have fun. Now I am through school and have started my career, could have a better job, but I guess that will come with time.