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Does anyone have experience with a high needs baby? I have 7 month old twin boys. One is considered high needs and the other is not. My high needs takes so much time I am concerned about my other one. If anyone has personal experience with high needs children please let me know.
Hi Jill! Welcome to the boards. What exactly do you mean by high needs? I think if we could get a better idea of what you're babies are doing, we can come up with some more on-target ideas for your situation.
Hi needs means... That he is only quite if being held or interacted with... that he needs less sleep than other babies...only naps 15 - 20 minutes at a time... he will only eat a few sips at a time...has to be held to eat... he smiles and coos normally but if you set him down he screams and loudly demands to be held again...even for his short naps... He does not like to be held by anyone except his parents... and is constantly looking around...if you do set him down and get out of eye sight he cries...even if you talk to him the whole time...for example while you try to go to the bathroom...I have to take him with me in order to not have him cry... his cry is piercing most times...and letting him cry it out doesn't work...he just cries harder and longer each time... he loves skin to skin contact.. although, complicating the factor is that he is low birth weight and intrauterine growth reduction... so the docs keep telling me to keep as quite as I can so he doesn't burn calories that could be used for growth.
As I'm sure you already know, you just can't change a high needs baby. Often, they grow up to be strong willed children. The good news is they are very independent and become leaders as they get older. I've read that many very famous, intelligent people were strong willed/high needs children.
My advice for dealing with it would be to work with him and not against him. I would wear him. By that I mean find a sling or carrier that you can fall in love with, and wear him as much as possible. Many parents with twins learn to carry two children at once. I am in awe of anyone who can pull that off.
I have however, held one twin in a sling and the other in my arms before. My nephews were very different; one was high needs and the other very laid back. The laid back child will not suffer for lack of attention. You obviously care very much about your babies, and they will both know that.
You are doing a great job. Hang in there! Don't forget to take some me time.