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I'm sorry, I just have to jump in here.
Picking up your INFANT when he or she needs you (barring when YOU
need to go to the bathroom or feed yourself, etc) is NOT spoiling the
child. It's teaching them that you are there when they need you - and
at this stage, they do need you. They need you to feed them, to hold them and comfort
them and to make them feel safe. That's what a parent does.
hard. It's frustrating. But parenthood isn't a walk in the park, and a
baby isn't something you can mute when you're tired of hearing them, or turn on when you feel like being a
I am sorry, I was unaware that you see every second and angle of our lives.
No one said that we don't pick up our child! I hold my son plenty which does not need to be validated to anyone. But my husband works 18 hour days, and after a c-section you have to go to the bathroom. It is nothing you can hold or you will be wearing the proof in red on your jeans. When my son has a clean, fresh diaper, a full belly, is in no harm or pain, and does not have gas or any other reason to cry besides to hear himself and be held its okay not to hold him! Ask your pediatrician! They will tell you that it is okay to allow a baby to cry for an entire 30 minutes without interrupting as young as newborn if you know all other things are meet. How do you think babies learn to self soothe! Its not about neglecting your child or putting yourself first! If you read my whole post you would see that I also said people don't understand unless they experience it themselves! Its not that I get "tired of hearing" my son! How dare you imply such things on such a common problem that obviously other parents experience or they wouldn't have this chat topic! Have you ever heard a 2 year-old just continue to talk and talk for 30 minutes straight which no one can understand a word! Does the child need the parents attention who most likely is getting other things done and has zoned out the child after the first 5 minutes or is he learning to talk and communicate. Its the same thing! As a parent there is NO possible way for you to hold your child every single second of the day! And if you do... You will probably come across a whole new set of problems as your child gets older. So this is not about neglecting your infants needs at all! I don't recall reading that anyone said they expected anything to be easy or "a walk in the park." Definitely NO one said they are walking away from being a mother by using the restroom!
If you read my whole post you would see that I also said people don't understand unless they experience it themselves!
I've had a csection, and will most likely be having another
in the next six weeks or so. And if *you* had read *my* post, you'd realize that
I clearly said "picking up your infant when he or she needs you (barring
when YOU need to go to the bathroom or feed yourself, etc) is NOT spoiling the
child". Obviously there are times you physically
can't be with your child - and you do need to take care of yourself. But to the
extent of leaving your child to scream, turn purple and not breathe? I think not
- nor does my pedi.
Have you ever heard a 2 year-old just continue to talk and talk for 30
minutes straight which no one can understand a word! Does the child
need the parents attention who most likely is getting other things done
and has zoned out the child after the first 5 minutes or is he learning
to talk and communicate. Its the same thing!
LOL. Hardly. The only way a newborn has to communicate is to cry - and all he learns by being
left alone is that his needs and attempts to communicate aren't important. Not
to mention, a newborn and a two year old are VASTLY different in their mental
capacities! As the baby grows, he or she is more capable of learning to selfsoothe, but not at mere weeks old.
As a parent there is NO possible way for you to hold your child every single second of the day!
True. But there is such a thing as a sling. It cuts down on the crying immensely, you have your hands free to get other things done, and the baby feels close and comforted.
for those of you that dont feel like you can hold your little one all the time when they want you to, have you tried using a sling? these tend to work, and allow you to have both hands free to get household tasks done, or even a moment to have a snack.
I also agree that little babies cant be spoiled. Good luck.
My little one just turned 19 weeks old and I can tell you that the screaming does end eventually. And there is no way to spoil a baby under 6 months old. When they first arrive in this world they are cold, hungry, and feeling very small in a very large place. A parents job at that point is to comfort their baby while they grow into little people who can eventually help themselves calm down and get things. When my little girl was just born she would cry for me all the time when she wasn't sleeping or in my arms. After about 6 weeks though, she started to stop crying so loudly because she knew that I would get her and love on her. Now I can put her down and walk away from her to go do things that need to be done and she will remain calm if she can see or hear me. I also recommend "The Happiest Baby on the Block". I read it and saw the DVD. The techniques are a lifesaver for a parent with a fussy baby.
If it gets soo bad that you can't do anything without holding your baby, ask friends and family for help around the house. It gets your baby used to other people, you get to be with friends and family, and your house stays clean. :) Good luck.