Older Children

Re: Taming the Tantrum

StrongDad07 — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 19:50:12 GMT

I think it's different for everyone but as long as you dont reinforce the action I've found, with my daughter at least, that it stops being interesting. My daughter used to hit her head on doors or walls when she was upset as well, we would ignore it - talking to each other instead, or leaving the room - and soon enough she moved to another (less painful) method of getting our attention. I also noticed when she was happy she would make a game out of slamming her body/head into things as well so I would always turn her away from that action by redirecting her to another game instead. I think that may have helped her realize that hitting herself wasn't a good thing as well.

Re: Taming the Tantrum

LeslieAnn — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 19:44:30 GMT

If at home, my mother would tell us "if you're going to throw a fit I'm going to throw water on you", then she'd give us a few minutes to calm down. If we didn't start the calming down process within a few minutes though, she'd get a big glass of water and pour it either on our chest or back (never in the face). After the first couple times, all it took to snap us out of it was to hear the water in the kitchen run!

My little sister used to throw public tantrums, and Mom would take us and leave the store saying that she couldn't take naughty girls out. After a while Ashley started throwing herself on the floor and refusing to move, and when Mom would try to pick her up she'd either go rigid and kick or she'd go completely limp and refuse even to be carried. Mom finally started taking my hand and saying loudly, "Lets go home Leslie, I don't want to be seen in the store with such a naughty daughter." We'd then walk away to an observation point (behind a display or into a store front of the mall) and wait. After a while she'd stop throwing a tantrum and her fake, hysterical sobs became frightened crying. That's when Mom and I would come back so that she would never feel abandoned, but she soon learned that throwing a tantrum was not acceptable.

Re: Taming the Tantrum

writemommy10 — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 15:51:11 GMT

Tyler, have you tried moving her to your bed, or maybe holding her for the duration of the tantrum? There's really not guaging when the tantrums stop. It's all about how and when your child learns to control their emotions.

I got a newsletter recently about using time outs as a cooling off period instead of a punishment. If you try to anticipate when a tantrum might strike, become aware of the signs, and then get her to take a time out where she can go to a calming place for her (like a favorite place on the couch with her securitu objects, or even sitting on her bed), you may be able to start teaching her ways to get her emotions under control. Not to mention you head off a tantrum! Might be worth a shot. I'm trying it with my little one now. We can't seem to go a day without at least one meltdown.

My older daughter didn't stop with the tantrums until she was 4 1/2, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel...way back there, somewhere :)

Re: Taming the Tantrum

birdie4 — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 14:43:11 GMT

My son started around age 1 and stopped around 3, and it felt it was never gonna stop and what worse he would do it when relatives would stop over and they would be horrified and of course it would be all my fault, but trust me it will stop, and luckily none of my other kids picked up that habit also. What I can suggest also is see what really sets her off and try talking to her on her level about it( one I did try that sometimes didnt work) asking her why she is so upset, it might calm her down slightly and you could divert her attention. By the way I asked my son who is now 5 why he stopped his response was that it hurt and he was tired of his head hurting, they do wise up!

Re: Taming the Tantrum

tyler3 — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 01:58:46 GMT

Thank you I need it. She has been doing this for about a year now. I'v walked away but she still keeps on banging her head. And it gets worse when dad comes home from work and he don't pick her up right away. When will it end?

Re: Taming the Tantrum

birdie4 — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 23:44:44 GMT

My now 5 year old did that when he was younger but used the wall instead of the floor. What i used to do was take him by the arm( not mean just put it in my hand) and guided him away from the wall. On the occasion that didn't stop it, i did just let it go, i would walk away from him and ignore it( as hard as it was to do). Once he realized that what he was doing was getting absolutly no reaction from me(horrified or other) he would stop. They do grow out of that "phase". Good luck

Re: Taming the Tantrum

BabyNurse3 — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:19:08 GMT

Strongdad- Maybe your little girl is just getting it out of the way. :)

Re: Taming the Tantrum

tyler3 — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:08:02 GMT

Hi Im new to this i'm a mom of three kids. I'm new to temper tantrums my oldest son never had a temper tantrum. My question is how can i stop my 14 month old daughter to stop banging her head on the floor when she doesnt get her way? Im worried she might severly hurt her self and I talked to my ped and he said if she hits her head hard enough she will stop. But she hasen't. I put down pillows and tried to grab her as fast as I can. And my older son tries to. If you have any sugestions please let me know I don't know what else to do. Everybody says ignore it but I can't.

Re: Taming the Tantrum

StrongDad07 — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 15:00:42 GMT

Yikes! You folks are starting to spook me - if my daughter's having tantrums this early now I'm wondering what's in store for the next few years, lol. Here's hoping for the best !

Re: Taming the Tantrum

FarrellClanMom — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 00:46:09 GMT

HAHAH DITTO!!!!

Re: Taming the Tantrum

BabyNurse3 — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 19:24:28 GMT

I thought I was lucky too until the horrific, rotten, evil 3's rolled around. :) I miss my sweet boy~! LOL.

Re: Taming the Tantrum

writemommy10 — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 02:55:26 GMT

Boy you guys are lucky! Jordan hasn't been 2 for a month yet and she's been firmly entrenched in the Terrible Twos for at least half a year already. Tantrums every day 'round here!

Re: Taming the Tantrum

BabyNurse3 — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 23:01:40 GMT

FarrellClanMom- Same here! Terrible 3's and 4's all the way. The 2's were saintly. :)

bflick1824- I do the same thing, especially concerning manners. I give tons of praise and as much attention as I possibly can.

Re: Taming the Tantrum

bflick1824 — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:03:39 GMT

I've found that the whole idea of positive reinforcement works well to prevent tantrums from starting. When my kids are playing well together or they ask me for something without whining or throwing a fit, i'll praise them for it. For example..."You two are playing so well together! Laurel, I love it when you're so nice & you share with your brother! He is so lucky to have a big sister like you!" or " Cole, thank you for asking so nicely for a drink. I would be happy to get you one since you were so polite!" Kids love the praise & attention they get from you when they behave well & it makes them less likely to throw a fit to get your attention.

Re: Taming the Tantrum

FarrellClanMom — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 16:21:19 GMT

We do the same ignore...it's the only thing that works. Seems however, we never experienced terrible 2's.... just 3's and 4's I wonder where terrible 2 came from?