Pregnancy

Re: am i little hurt :(

remylim — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 06:55:32 GMT

I highly agree with you PediNurseJulie1...

Re: am i little hurt :(

khauerblake — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 11:04:11 GMT

There is a reason for his response and the key is to find out why he feels this way. Men are emotional too and your husband must have a specific treason for his feeling. The reality is he probably felt hurt or scared the first time. Reassure him that his presence is important and HELPFUL to you. Men need to know they are needed. I bet if you get down to it he has a fear or phobia. Good luck.

Re: am i little hurt :(

remylim — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 13:25:36 GMT

babyShields,So glad you both talked already and come up to a good decision.

Cheer!!!!!!!!!!

Re: am i little hurt :(

JenniferAhlhorn — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 22:20:05 GMT

I'm sure he is feeling a lot of anxiety with the mass amount of people in the room! Wow! Maybe he felt useless and not involved because of all the people in the room. Honestly I would tell the doctors no interns, no family, and have only Doc, nurses and husband. Definitely talk to him and find out why though.

Re: am i little hurt :(

PediNurseJulie1 — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 08:36:45 GMT

To echo everyone else, good job and I'm glad for you. I highly doubt he will regret staying in the room but he might regret not being there. So glad you will get the support you need. :-)

Re: am i little hurt :(

AnswerDad03 — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:18:54 GMT

Congrats and I am glad this was resolved. I have been in the delivery room with my wife for all three babies, and I can't imagine being anywhere else. I also feel like he would have regretted not being there if you didn't make it clear how important it is to you. Strongmoms to the rescue again! Best of luck!

Re: am i little hurt :(

MommyRN4 — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 15:09:25 GMT

I am glad that you were able to talk to him about it and that you came to a mutual agreement. I think that the whole process can be scary for a lot of men because they realize how much they are NOT in control of. You could be hurt, the baby could be hurt...and there is nothing they can do. This can be an uncomfortable feeling for them, but in all reality..being outside in the waiting room would be worse! I am glad he is going with you:)

Re: am i little hurt :(

baobei2 — Tue, 01 Jan 2013 03:15:27 GMT

You are so brave to be doing this in the first place, and definitely strong enough to take whatever comes, but it is nice to have supportive people around you. My husband faints at the sight of blood, can't stand seeing me in pain, and was really nervous about natural delivery, but he did an awesome job! One of the most important things we did was giving him a really important - blood free - job. He put cold cloths on my forehead and we prepared some things for him to say to cheer me on as well as having him do the counting. It helped that both of us were busy and he knew just what to do in order to be my hero. Best of luck!

Re: am i little hurt :(

babyShields — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 00:05:53 GMT

thank you ladys for all the advise and good strong words of encouragement it realy means alot. and am glad i could talk to my husband we have always been good at that but i think this topic just sacrys him as much as me because there is so much that can go wrong this time. but it one day at a time with my family and that is all i could ever ask for. again thank you all

Re: am i little hurt :(

Brinny — Sun, 30 Dec 2012 14:01:10 GMT

That is so awesome!! I'm glad you have been able to work it out.

Re: am i little hurt :(

Jess_BabyRN — Sun, 30 Dec 2012 13:10:41 GMT

I am SO PROUD of you for talking to him. That is hard to do, but it sounds like you did a great job of sharing your feelings and what you need. That is awesome. One additional thought I have is to give the RNs a heads up that dad might get a bit overwhelmed so that they can offer him some support and help meet your goal as parents of having him there. Our nurses are trained in "Family centered care", which means that they are trained to look at the entire family unit-mom, dad and baby as their patient. They also help families through labor everyday so I'm betting they have some good tactics and helpful words in these situations. I am sure that this is not a unique thing and they have seen it many times before.

Keep up the open communication, again really impressed with you! What a good mamma you are! :)

-Jess

Re: am i little hurt :(

babyShields — Sat, 29 Dec 2012 23:23:40 GMT

ok so we talked alittle bit together and i think we are on the same page now . he will go now that i told him i just want him and me in the room and all he has to d is stand by my head and just take the first pic and cut the cord. he has agree that if he feels to over whemld he can step out for a bit. i have no problem with it and that i just need his support.

Re: am i little hurt :(

Brinny — Sat, 29 Dec 2012 15:07:47 GMT

Have you tried talking to him yet about why it is important to you that he be in the delivery room? And if he still remains persistent about not being in the room do you have someone else who could be there to support you, cheer you on, share the joy, take photos, cut the cord, ect...? I'm so sad at the thought of you delivering your son alone just because he doesn't want to be in there. it doesn't really sound like a good enough reason to me.

Re: am i little hurt :(

babyShields — Sat, 29 Dec 2012 14:35:05 GMT

just that he did want to be there. i was so huurt and toooken back because this is his son. and for him to not want to be there to see or cut the cord really hurts and so now am super sad.

Re: am i little hurt :(

PediNurseJulie1 — Sat, 29 Dec 2012 07:30:57 GMT

I'm sorry to hear that your husband feels that way - it sounds like a hurtful situation. What reasons has your husband given for why he doesn't want to be in the room? Perhaps if you can work through any anxieties he has, he would feel differently. Have you told him how important it is to you that he is present? Write back - hopefully we can help a bit.