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Hello all ,
I'm a new mom of a 6 week old baby boy, i love him to death but what scares me is some nights when i get up with him i sometimes get really frustrated to where i cry sometimes, my boyfriends very helpful but sometimes i fell like im doing a horrible job with him because i get short tempered ,if anyone can give me any advice it would be greatly appreciated. thanks :)
Having a newborn can be very stressful at times. They need constant care at all hours. Plus your hormones are still adjusting. Everytime I would feel stressed I would just look at my baby girl and say outloud," It's hard being a newborn. You can't tell me what you need." Try to have sympathy for your little boy.
I also would remind myself what a miracle she is and how lucky I was to be her mom. Some people that really want kids can't have them. Just remind yourself daily how lucky you are to be a mom! It truly is the hardest, and most rewarding thing I have ever done!
If you ever get really sad or angry, don't pick up your baby. He will be ok in the crib for a few minutes while you calm down. Also, consider having a family member come over and babysit for a few hours if possible. Even if it is just so you can take a much needed nap!
My baby boy is 6 weeks old too. Love him to death!
I think that one thing that is hard is that society puts up some very strong images about many things, one of them being motherhood. Browsing through a women's magazine and watching TV we see these beautiful, glowing, happy mothers with perfect clothes and matching lip stick who are out and about with perfect baby-bow in hair. With these images in mind I think that women often feel like they are failing when baby's two am crying fit lasts for two hours, and mom ends the night in tears. The truth is that new moms body has just gone through HUGE stress physically as she carried and delivered baby. Then add in the fact that mom hasn't slept more than 2 hours in a row in weeks, mom's diet is lacking bc it's hard to keep baby happy and cook/eat. I'm not quite sure who invented the chaos of the first year of motherhood. What you are feeling, many if not all mom's have been there. If there is anyway that dad can help so you can get a few hours of sleep, a hot shower and a good meal-i think it would make a huge difference. I hope that you will come here and seek out support when you need it. I will keep my eyes open for your posts. Take good care, Jess
I agree with Jess_BabyRN completely. Don't beat yourself up or feel like a bad mother. EVERYONE has moments of frustration, tears, and tempers. Just be able to step away for a minute if you are losing your cool and take a second before you keep going. You are SO NORMAL. The exhaustion during the night takes a toll on everyone. If you can at all, try to nap when he does during the day so that you can deal with nights better. Hang in there!!
Thanks so much, glad im not alone when it comes to the stress feeling.
thanks for the great advice.
Thank you for the great advice, it honestly helped out to know someone else understands the feeling that im having. thank you so much =)
I'm glad we were of some help to you! That's the goal here! Keep coming back and letting us know how things are going and vent if you need to. :-)
I am the first-time mommy of a 10 week old baby boy, I have same expirence as you when my baby kept crying all the time and refused to let me to hold him. In the beginning, I am so scared to approach him and just step away in another room to hear his helpless cryout. My husband got the same problem. Lucky thing is we have our annut live with us and she is experienced nanny. She could calm him down soon, but when I try to use the same ticks to treate my baby, it doesn't work! It makes me so frustrated and upset. I believe I got the "baby blue" during my materity leave. Hope we could go through it since we become mommies already. Wish you good luck with all the warmest regards from us!
BTW, when finally my baby smiles to me, OMG, all the hardworking things and stress are nothing. They are the most valueable miracle in the world!
I just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing and how thing are going for you. I would love an update,
My baby girl is seven weeks today and I too get frustrated when she refuses to sleep at night. She sometimes becomes inconsolibale and I have found that the more frustrated her dad and I become the more difficult it is to calm her down and console her. The things that have helped me get her back to sleep is first being calm then creating some white noise like a hair dryer or vacuum cleaner being turned on; taking a walk with her ( It's possible that my stride reminds her of being in the womb since I worked at a job where I walked constantly during my entire pregnancy). And as one of the other mothers posted on another topic holding your hand on their belly or chest for a few minutes once they have been put in their bed to give them security helps as well. I wish you luck in helping your little boy sleep at night. I sometimes just hold my daughter while reading through this forum until she's out.
I, too, am a new mom to a newborn (a daughter) who's about 5.5 weeks old at the moment. At first, I went through the same frustration, stress and tears as you experienced. Being a new mom and a first time at that too - is quite hard and is overwhelming majority of the time. As mentioned by fellow supporters, it's very important, if you can, to accept any help you can get and if not, definitely ask. It's a huge learning curve for everyone who's a parent - even those who has had many kids will probably tell you no two kids are alike in terms of needs and wants. And it's true that your body and hormones are all over the place given the lack of sleep and "me" time to destress etc. But hang in there, it WILL get better and take small steps. Even a touch or a coo here and there can do wonders for your baby. Do your best and provide what you can. Every effort goes a long way and is appreciated by your baby even if they can't directly tell you that now. =)
Brinny-it sounds like you are using really good techniques to console her. I'm glad you have been able to read some of the other boards and have gained some support from there.