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IM A 27 YEAR OLD MARRIED WOMAN WITH 4 KIDS. AND AMONG THE KIDS ARE A SET OF TWINS GIRLS KINYA AND KIMORA 3MOS.OLD. THIS IS SO MUCH WORK FOR ME IM A STAY AT HOME MOM BUT I WANT TO WORK. BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM TIRED ALL THE TIME. PLUS MY 3 YEAR OLD IS HOME AS WELL. I DON'T WANT MY HUSBAND TO KILL HIMSELF TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF ALL THE BILLS BY HIMSELF PLUS WE JUST BROUGHT A HOUSE. WHAT DO I DO ABOUT THE WHOLE JOB THING? AND I NEED SO MUCH HELP AT HOME WITH THE KIDS HOW DO I KEEP A SMILE ON MY FACE WITH SO MUCH GOING ON IN MY LIFE?
First, stop and take a few deep breaths. Everything is always better than it seems. You've got a wonderful family and you just bought a house (congratulations!), these are things to be proud of. Next, have you talked with your husband about how you are feeling? I'm sure that together there is nothing you cannot work through.
If there is one thing I have learned in my marriage it is that whenever my wife and I hold back from each other it does more harm than good. Talk to him and discuss your and his wants and needs. You may be able to hire a live-in sitter for the children with the money you would be making at a job outside the home and/or by cutting back on other areas, I dont know, but only by talking with him and looking at options together can you both be happy and aware of each other's needs.
Don't try to fake happiness for anyone. It shows through when you're faking, instead work to be actually happy. Talk it out, and find a way to make it work for everyone.
StrongDad hit the mark. Open communication with your partner is definitely the first step to take. Perhaps there is a solution to be found with his job, or a compromise that can be made. Perhaps he'd like to be a SAHD while you support the family.
Second, what kind of work do you do? What's your education and skills? Depending on these answers, you may be able to find something you can do from home. I am a writer, so my job options are very diverse, and as a result, I do a mix of work from home and teaching at local colleges. This gives me a nice balance between being at home with my kids and still being able to achieve professionally.
However, our baby is in daycare F/T, which we pay for on a weekly basis, and our older daughter is in grammar school. For where I live, it would not be practical for me to work if I were making less than a certain amount of money. Keep that in mind, too. If you were to go back to work, would you be making just enough to cover childcare costs, or would you be making more? If so, is that amount worth it?
What kind of support system do you have in your area? Is there any family/friends? Anyone you could maybe work out a babysitting schedule with? If earning money isn't as much of the issue as getting out of the house and doing something other than taking care of the kids, maybe look into some volunteer work in your area. If you could take turns with a girlfriend watching each others' kids, you may be able to make a P/T volunteer gig work.
Any way you choose to go, just remember that there is no real prescribed path to take as a mom. It's up to you to figure out what works best for you and your family. Remember, you deserve to be happy and fulfilled, too.
well i have twin boys they are 6 1/2 months old.I also went through a period where i felt guilt for putting things on my husband but dont let it worry you as much.What i did about the job thing is I started applying to daycares.You would have to ask how it works in your area but I know where I went they would let me bring my kids with me while I worked.Some place will charge you at a discounted rate others will just let you bring them for free.Try calling aroun to some places you might be surprised whats out there.Good Luck