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Be careful and just follow your heart dont get into any trouble.
im in the SAMEEE situation. and my advice to you DONT CONTACT THEM. if he ever does make an attepmt he will in and out of your sons life. my advice find someone who will love you and your son and is willing to be a fulltime daddy. it will be hard but do it for your son.
hello, im 19 and have a 3 month old son. my boyfriend and i have been toget her for almost 2 years.when we found out we were pregnant he didnt want me to keep the baby but i told him i was. he said he would be in our sons life sice he doesnt have a dad he knows how it feel. when i had my son he came to see us. at the begining my boyfriend would come see us almoat eveyday but now we hardy see him maybe once a week. my boyfriend found out he has biopler and is having a really hard time with it. i dont know how to help him
Congrats on ur baby!!!..... and I know exactly how you feel! The father of my baby left me when I was 3 months, but I still lived with him until I was about 7 months. It didn't make any difference... at the time that I needed him most he turned his back on us. He has promised that he will be there for the baby but I have yet to see any of that. He does not call and see how we are doing... and he does not care when I talk to him about her. I just came to realize that there are plenty of other people out there who are going to love my little girl just as much as I do... and in the end she's better off without him. I wouldn't contact him because in the end it's not going to help the situation any. He will feel like you are pushing this baby on him and in the end will push you away even more. Just be strong, and show your son that despite the fact that his father is not in the picture you are a strong mother who can do this by herself!!!
sorry to hear about the baby's dad. the only advise i can give is that guys don't really care too much for newborns. they really don't care for the child until the are playful. like i have a 3yr old, 1 year old and a 3mos old and my kids dad would rather play with the 2 big kids then to have anything to do with the baby. he will hold the 3mo old but it don't take long to put him back down. he plays with the other 2 most of the time. i hate to say this but just give it time cause at this age the baby really will never know that his dad isn't holding him but he will know his mommy loves him. when your child gets almost a 1yr old that when the dad should really be involved. i know you the dad to see all the baby's first everything's but really that's his loss not yours just be glad you get to see his first and rub it to the dads face cause that's what i would do.. lol . i hope i tried to help let me know what you think.
im with you too. the only thing i can say is quit pushing him to get her to do something with the baby. i have 3 kids and i did the whole fighting thing with my older 2 and it didn't get better with the third. my boyfriend would rather play with the 3yr and the 1 1/2 old. the youngest is 3mos and the fighting is really not worth it. and besides how will the baby remember when it was held and by who when they are under a year old. if you love your husband then quit fighting over holding the baby. guys are all about playing. weather its with girls or games. just and see when the child gets about a year old things will change i promise. just love your baby for the both of u and grow that mommy child bond cause its the best thing in the world. the dad will have their bond when the child is older. let me know what you think of my comment. please
Nice advice. I agree. Some guys are better with kids than babies.
Also sometimes you've got to go out for a night and leave them in charge. It helps them get the hang of it.
I am in disagreement with the last three posts to this discussion. Sure we can agree to disagree, but whether or not the baby may not remember that their dad was there with them as newborns, it absolutely does not justify that "most men rather play with toddlers than infants." I think that it's really important not to make excuses for those that choose not to be part of those precious first months of life for the child. In a way, it's almost like a defense mechanism and a method to protect oneself from being hurt that the dad is not there, so some women make excuses for them- not good. Sure baby may not know daddy was not there in the beginning but you will! In the end we all make our decisions, no one says you have to fight or "force the baby on the dad" but you need to hold the uninvolved fathers accountable.
It helps to hear that someone else has been there and is going through it agian with the same guy. i wish he would help but i need to be strong and know i can do this on my own.
As a former legal assistant, just a quick word of advice: please, please, please document everything. I have seen too many cases where a parent doesn't have anything to do with their child, then suddenly swoops in and demands custody, visitation, etc. So start now. Document whether he has contributed to your medical expenses; whether or not he came, called, or sent a gift when the baby was born. If you call him, keep a written record of the conversation, no matter what he says. If he wants to visit, then doesn't show up, document that. He may be a wonderful guy with the best of intentions, or have decided you are a part of his past and he won't ever bother you, but please take this step to protect yourself and your child.
I also went through the same thing.i was the one that was always calling him and looking for him.When he did call I would get really happy, he would see his kids for an hour and then he would dissapear for three months or more.I got tired of it and I moved on.My kids dont know him.Its better that way.Prove to him that you dont need him that you coud support yourself and your son on your own.If I could do it you could do it.I was only 15 at the time, I am now 26 and very happy. I met someone that loves my kids like if they were his own.My kids think that hes their father and I intend to keep it that way until they are old enough to understand what happened.We have been togeher for 8 years. good luck!!!!!! jessica
im so sorry but i cant really help i havent had my baby daddy scien day one he left me 4 another girl srry i cant help
thanks for all the help everyone! things are getting better with my boyfriend. we went out and had along talk and i told him how hes going to miss our son firsts. i know he doesn't want to miss out on things like that. it make him think about how hes not around to see him roll over witch he did 2 weeks ago!! he comes over and helps me with our son and im teaching him what to do when our son get upset. hes starting to get it. i know this it not going to easy and that my boyfriend will have good days and bad its just part of having bipolar. i also have bipolar with high anxiety. iv had it since i was about 8 or 9 and know how to handle mine. i know it will talk along time it took me tell 2 years ago to start getting a handle on my bipolar and anxiety its nothing to take lightly. i love my boyfriend and ill do any thing to make this work
Honestly, I would say just to let it be. Like they say let sleeping dogs lie, I know the situation kind of I was with some one, I got pregnant and he kicked me out, I did end up meeting my husband while I was pregnant and was fortunate that he has raised our son as his own. My sons "sperm donor" as we call him recently wanted to be back in the picture but only comes around when my husband is away. My husband is in the military and its hard. But I would say just let it be. As bad as this sounds, If he wants to be in the childs life, he will contact you and that leaves it in your hands.
Im a single Mom also, I have a 4 month old boy. Ive tried everything to get his dad involved but nothing has worked. Every time the baby does something new ; his first laugh, pics of him slepping, of him trying to talk., but nothing has worked. I feel the same way you do, how can he not feel anything for his child? I truely don't understand it, but u have to face it and just let it go. If the father of your child is anything like mine then he is selfish. The best thing for you and your baby is to enjoy him and love him. Be happy , you have the best thing in your arms!