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My mother-in-law thinks that I'm already doing this. Silly of me to ask as I know it's pretty much impossible but wanted to see what you all think about this. Thank you
It's tough hearing the opinions of others when you know you're doing what's right. You need support from the people around you...not their questioning your decisions. <<big hughs>>
No. You cannot spoil a 3-week old...or even a 3-month old.
Children communicate by crying because they are helpless and they have needs. Needing to be held and comforted is just like needing to eat, be warm and have their diapers kept clean.
The idea of "spoiling" a child is a modern, Western concept. In other parts of the world it would be considered neglectful to ignore a child's cries.
What is it you're doing that she thinks is spoiling the baby? The AAP actually says that you shouldn't worry about spoiling your newborn with too much attention. They say that by providing prompt, consistent reassurance, you teach your baby to feel secure about himself and about you. Children who learn from infancy that they can feel confident and secure in your presence are actually more prepared for independence.
I'm with LaraRN-what is it that you are doing that makes her think you are spoiling the child? Attention and love and cuddles are needed in abundance at a young age like this! It is an important part of your child's psychosocial development and even physical development as well. Your mothering instincts know what is best for your child. :-)
I also agree with LaraRN. There are studies that show that babies that are picked up and loved as soon as the cry are taught that they can trust you, and helps them to develop the bond of love and trust with you. It's also been shown that babies who's cries were not attended to promptly would actually cry more as the got older! So "spoiling" your litte 3 week old will make for less crying at 3 months old and so on and so forth. MY mother tells me I spoil my 8 week old son. She gets upset with me for picking him up as soon as he cries, and hugging him all close when he wakes up, and i'm not in the room so he gets really sad, so i scoop him up asap and cuddle him close. If he is just barely kinda fussing or kinda starting to cry, just making not so happy noises, she tells me he is just faking it so that i will pick him up! Well if my son knows he can make those noises to get mommy thats great! If he wants to be loved and held, then thats what he needs and deserves! I think it is impossible to spoil a new baby!!
No way. Babies only cry if they need something. The more nurturing a child receives, the happier and more confident they are.