Second Baby

I have a 5 year old son, my husband has an 18 year old son and I am now 15 weeks pregnant with our first child together. My son has gotten used to an older brother but I am not sure how he will be when the baby gets here. he seems really excited about it right now any advice on how to deal with it if he does start to get jealous?

Babylane-i think that it is great that you are thinking ahead as to how best get your 5 year old cared for emotionally when the new baby arrives. I think that it's very important that he understands that he is going to have special time with you, just like he does now, even after the baby is born. It is also important for him to know how important he is going to be as a big brother. I've seen lots of kids his age do just terrific with new babies in the family. They are just getting ready to start kindergarten so they have that major exciting thing happening just for them, thus they don't feel as though they are missing things when baby is born. I also tend to see this age take great pride in being a big brother. Its a very different story than bringing home a baby when the older sibling is 2-1/2-4 years old. They do not seem to handle it as well then. Keep us posted! jess

At 5 years old, he may experience some feelings of jealousy especially in the beginning when the new baby arrives. Most of his family will be oohing and ahhing over the new baby so it may be upsetting at first to him. Just keep reminding him how much you love him and how important being a big brother is. Try to hype it up and let him participate in the baby's care as much as he wants. If he seems reluctant to, don't push him. Also, try to schedule some one on one time with him when the baby is a few weeks old. Take him to a movie or to a sports game...anything to show him that he is still your #1 guy.

The other posters have some great advice. Something you can do is emphasize all the amazing things your BIG boy can do that the baby can't and how proud you are of that. "I love how you can eat your dinner like a big boy - you will be able to teach the baby how to do that!" - something like that. Also, a little gift from the baby to him when the baby is born is a nice little thing to do so that he feels like his baby brother/sister loves him. :-) When the baby is young, just make time for the two of you still. Even while nursing you can pop in a movie and popcorn with your older boy. It'll work out in the long run! Congrats on your new baby!! :-)

I totally agree with you.!...my daughter was five when her little sister was born and she was so exited and enthused!...she was a great help. i kept her as involved as I could..Just helping grab a diaper or a blanket is a huge deal for my daughter..she loves being a part of "taking care of her sissy" as she would say!.

 

Babylane-Would love an update on how your kiddos are doing! -Jess

As always, there are some great posts from caring parents here. Our kids were a little younger than five, but we just understood that we needed to be a good parent to all of our kids and not let them feel neglected emotionally. With our family, we had so much demand for people to have baby time that we were able to schedule activities that allowed us to have alone time with our older kids even if just for an hour or so... I feel like it made a difference. Good luck!

Sorry it has taken me a few to get back to all the wonderfull, helpful things you all have given to help get my 5 year old thru this. It has been a busy week wrking 6 days a week and a couple of doubles, and trying to get my 5 year old ready for school which starts next week. Thanks to everyone for all the helpful advice. I have an ultrasound scheduled in about 2 weeks and he is looking forward to going to see if he will have a brother or sister. will let you know how it goes.

Wow - you sound pretty busy! Try to to remember to put yourself on the schedule if you can. ;-) We want to hear when you find out girl or boy for sure. Glad to hear your little guy is excited about the baby. Does he want a brother or sister?

I dont know if pretty busy is the word for it. I do however get two days off this week and to me that is very exciting. My 5 year old most days says he wants a sister, the 18 year old says it needs to be a boy. As for me between my husband, our 5 year old son, and the 18 year old son I think I could use another girl in the house but as long as it is healthy it really does not matter.

Babylane- I agree-the healthy kind of baby is the best kind of baby! :) I was thinking about you earlier this week as I saw a 5 year old in the office for a rash. He proceeded to tell me all about his baby brother that is going to be born soon. He was just cracking me up as he reported in: "There are only boys allowed in our house, well just boys and mommy!". I smiled and looked at poor mom and said-I guess there won't be barbies and pink dresses in your house! There are many mom's walking in the same shoes you are! Do keep us posted on how things are going, Take care, Jess

Well my 5 year old has started school and is loving it and yesterday we found out we are having a BOY!

Babylane-Wonderful news on all accounts! Congrats! :) Jess